To Read Diane’s Interview for the article please click here.
In the classic yoga text The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, one key ethical principle is brahmacharya. This is usually translated as sexual abstinence. Yogic celibates take a vow not to engage in any sexual practice in thought, work and deed in order to redirect the powerful sexual life energy for spiritual purity rather than lose it through ejaculation. Yet there is another way. Katie Manitas of Jivamukti Yoga interprets brahmarchaya as not harming another through your sexual activities. Donna Fahri (Yoga Mind, Body & Spirit) translates the concept as an energy exchange or merging energies with God, “a kind of omnidimensional celebration of Eros in all forms”. Heart of Yoga’s Mark Whitwell asserts that life is about making use of desire, not suppressing it. In The Promise: Love, Sex & Intimacy, he teaches, “Your Seven-Minute Wonder: a gentle pranayama (breathing) exercise with simple asanas (postures), promising greater intimacy in all relationships, especially your sexual relationship, when performed daily for three months.” From this perspective, brahmarchya shows you how to use your sexual energy, making it a consciously joyful act. You can apply all other yamas and the niyamas to the key ethical concept in thought, word and deed. Apply:
• Ahimsa (non harming) through self acceptance and compassion in sex
• Satya (truthfulness) through honest communication of each other’s needs
• Astya (not stealing) by respecting someone’s sexual boundaries
• Shaucha (purity) through cleanliness and simplifying clutter, to allow the sacred to be felt.
• Santosha (contentment) in sex and sexual partners
• Tapas (burning enthusiasm) so sexual desire doesn’t wane, especially when career, children
or hobbies take over
• Swadhyaya (self study) as self reflective consciousness in sex
• Ishvarapranidhana (celebration of the spiritual) through devotion in lovemaking
You can take each of these ethical precepts separately and explore them deeply thought your
sexuality and sexual responses to life.
To find our how to connect with the dive self, tantric experts Kerry and Diane Riley have shared their experience and Knowledge. For more information click here.
To Read Diane’s Interview for the article please click here.
An authentic yoga practice of asana, pranayama and dhyana (meditation) can remove barriers that prevent you from connecting with your own divinity. Yoga is not about striving for an end goal or forcing yourself beyond what you are ready for; neither is a deeply satisfying spiritual-sexual experience with someone you love.
In yoga practice, if you surrender to the present moment, practice joyfully without judgment, challenge yourself safely and allow the breath to move you closer to knowing the universal self, you can move into lasting peace and happiness. Sex can do the same while providing an intimate and joyful connection with your partner (or yourself) as a divine human connection and expression of love.
When you approach sex with conscious awareness and become mindful in every moment, you let go of striving for sexual performance and instead become open and generous in the spirit of what you can offer each other. In this act of offering without expectation, you transcend cultural sexual dysfunction and allow the loving act of sex to become a yoga practice in itself, developing awareness, respect and intimacy.
Senior hatha yoga teacher Eve Grzybowski talks of the humility and devotion to the relationship a commitment to sexual union brings, particularly after an argument. Someone has to surrender, she days. A sexual relationship based on devotion, generosity and mental flexibility improves all other relationships in your life.
To increase your sex life/ drive to another level adapt yoga for sex to combine tantric techniques to become a better lover and partner.
To Read Diane’s Interview for the article please click here.
If you are not in a loving sexual relationship with another, you can still use these guidelines by yourself. Get to know your desires, likes and dislikes. Use the breath to fin intimacy with the self through asana and pranayama in preparation for a deeper sexual connection with a partner if/when the time comes.
Mark Whitwell says life is not about seeking enlightenment or something outside of yourself, but becoming intimate with the divine self that is already perfect within you. He says intimacy with another is not possible until you experience intimacy with your own life, “with your own body and breath”.
For information on Tantra for women and how to enjoy sex more as a woman click here.
To Read Diane’s Interview for the article please click here.
Katie Manitas of Jivamukti Yoga says kundalini yoga is often incorrectly thought of as sex yoga. Yogi Bhajan, the creator of kundalini yoga, emphasised monogamous relationships and deeper sexual commitment. He warned that any sexual relationship you have stays in your energetic body for the rest of your life, so choose your partners wisely.
Manitas explains that sexual problems, disorders or negative experiences can create a hole in your aura. In kundalini yoga, a master teacher can prescribe specific kriyas (sets of kundalini yoga postures) to heal this damage. Sex has the potential to either enhance or deplete our energy, depending on the intention and emotion behind the acts of intimacy.
Ayurveda recognises sex as an integral part of life (dinacharya). According to ayurveda, nourishing the sense organs in preparation for sex is important not only for intimacy but to satisfy and permeate consciousness. Ayurveda texts suggest flowers, soft silk clothing, sweet perfumes, light, nourishing food and sweet music.
Ayurveda believes excessive indulgence in sex dissipates the ojas (the living fluid of life found in the tissues of the body), weakening the immune system. Drinking homemade almond milk is recommended to promote strength and maintain sexual energy.
Kundalini is only one tool for a deeper intimate connection with your lover. For more sexual secrets for women and men read what experts in tantric sex have to say.
To Read Diane’s Interview for the article please click here.
Yoga attunes you to the intricacies of your body and mind and generates feeling on many levels. It awakens your senses to subtle vibrations. Yoga prepares you through the breath and movement to feel deeper connections and greater pleasure during sex. It also increases blood flow and strengthens the pelvic region. Yoga enhances the endurance, flexibility and strength required for a wider variety of sexual positions as well as longer duration. Yoga releases tension, heals and supports the nervous system and balances the flow of energy in the ida and pingala madis (channels) within you.
Sexual energy is a sacred life force to be embraced, whether you choose celibacy or sexual intercourse. Approach your sex life with an intension of light and love, embracing peace, passion and desire in an honest and intimate way. The trust, openness and sacred yogic tools you bring to your sex life will give you deeper, soul-satisfying sexual experiences in line with an authentic yoga journey. Use the breath to connect to and enjoy your sexual partner and find the divinity of your true self that resides in us all.
Increase your connection with your partner through tantric couples sessions.
See below what Diane has to say along with other extracts from the article.
In the modern world, sex is everywhere. Sex sells and is big business. Sex is splashed across almost every screen and billboard you see. It feels good to be sexy, to be desired. Yet sex sold in the spirit of raunchy fun is without this intimacy the soul longs for.
The pervasive cheapening of the sacredness of sex in society leaves many feeling empty and spiritually void in their sexual relationships. One path to deeply satisfying sexual experience is through your sacred yoga journey.
Diane Riley of the Australian School of Tantra explains tantra as a way of life. Combining the hear of the genitals with the warmth of the heat and the cool bliss of meditation, tantra integrates all aspects of yourself. Tantric practices are about giving and receiving sexual energy for more soulful sex.
Riley teaches couples in her LoveWorks program how to combine the body, heart, mind and soul within yourself, then with your partner through lovemaking. A sense of timelessness and boundlessness and a deep connection with all things can occur.
In preparation for sex, Riley suggests that you:
1. Set a sacred space for lovemaking
2. Become present with each other through the breath.
3. Devote and set intention.
4. Connect and open at the heart, verbalising words of love.
5. Practise passionate sexual embrace.
6. Commune ecstatically in body, heat and soul.
Look out for more extracts from Kylie’s article….
Diane Riley explains that tantra is a whole way of life. By combining the heat of the genitals with the warmth of the heart and the cool bliss of meditation, tantra integrates all aspects of yourself. Tantra practices are about giving and receiving sexual energy for more soulful sex. Diane teaches couples in her Love Works program how to combine the body, heart, mind and soul within yourself then share it with your partner through lovemaking. She says sex is not about the physical act, but being open in your heart and integrating sex with spirit so that ultimately, the sexual experience has a sense of timelessness, boundlessness, and a deep connection with all things.
Diane teaches the couples to prepare for sex as follows:
1. Set a sacred space for lovemaking;
2. Become present with each other through the breath;
3. Devotion and setting an intention;
4. Connecting and opening at the heart, verbalising words of love;
5. Sexual embrace.
Diane shares an ancient Chinese five minute sexual meditation practice as taught by Taoist Dr Stephen Chang. The couple lie down and have sexual penetration without movement or orgasm for five timed minutes. There is entry and holding only. In Sexy and Sacred Diane calls this the Daily Devotion Practice. It must not lead to sexual intercourse in any way. That is reserved for another time. This builds intimacy and trust as well as balancing desire in both male and female. Diane says ‘out of all the teachings this is the one tantric skill that couples report still sharing and of being of great benefit years later’.
Sex, Death & Desire features video footage of philosopher Simon Critchley, an interview with Diane Riley of the Australian School of Tantric Sex, alongside images and animations on the subject of Goddess worship, musings from evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins about atheism as well as clips of the Mexican celebration Day of the Dead (Dia de los Muertos) and sombre images of a candlelit parade past the grave of Polish film director Krzysztof Kielowski. In addition, audience members are treated to live music written by Simmons, as well as Sengalese Griot drumming from Pape Mbaye and his son Yaccu, and Maori singer, Merena.
“There are lots of ideas in the show that people haven’t perhaps thought of before,” Simmons says. “What I like to do with my work is not give you the Hollywood narrative where you’re instructed how to respond emotionally. I’m throwing up images that have inspired me and I’ve responded to in a certain way and then leave it to the audience to take away what they want from it. So you’ve got Tantric sex which is good for everyone involved and it’s all very positive and based on Yogic ideals and then you’ve got an interview with a guy who is addicted to porn.” Continue Reading ?
Extracts appeared in ‘Everything you wanted to know about tantra’, as requested by Kristy Bradley.
I’ve just written a book‘Sexy and Sacred’– nothing like it in the market place.
An X rated practice, well there are many in the Kama sutra- challenging yoga style positions. Those practices are for the flexible and strong. So tantra is just about finding a new sex position or a new point to press- to titillate the mind- there 100’s of articles on those things and numerous porno DVD’s.
Tantra is about experiencing as much pleasure and bliss as possible; not just physically but on all levels body heart and soul. Tantra is about combining the fire of sexual pleasure with the deep warmth of the heart and the cool bliss of meditation being in ‘the eternal now’. This combination opens you to a new reality of sexual love.
It is about being the moment of present time which happens in sex especially at the point of orgasm- we let go of thought. But often sex is more about focusing on the result of ‘getting to cum’, am I going to cum? Am I sexy enough ? God I hope he doesn’t come to quick, that felt good and now he’s changed what he’s doing and I’ve lost it !: so we’re thinking: comparing with the past or thinking of the future instead of being in the moment.
True tantra happens when you are so thoroughly absorbed in the present moment that nothing else exists (much easier said than done). So there are skills to shut the mind up and be present to the sensations and pleasures that you are experiencing.
Focused breathing is one of these skills, which is common in yoga, meditation, Ti chi but how do you bring that type of awareness into lovemaking.
So here is a practice that is deceivingly simple but if you want something challenging then try it and see.after significance foreplay. Man sits on couch woman straddles him and intercourse begins – or continues- as the excitement builds she moves upper body back, stills genitally connected, she asks him to open his eyes (the window to the soul- in to me see) and start to breathe deeply together, breathing in together and breathing out together- allowing sexual sound Thhh ….hArrrrr. As you breathe in, rotate pelvis back and forward as you breathe out. Do this for at least ten breaths maintaining eye contact, before continuing with normal love making. This can also help him with ejaculation control especially if he contracts the PC muscle as he breaths in on the out stroke and breathe out on the in stroke. And for her contract the PC muscle as she moves her hips can amplify her pleasure and orgasm.
And because there is more intimacy her sexual energy will expand even more. It’s not a porno performance it’s heightened lovemaking and that’s what tantra is about!
There is nothing wrong with making love with eyes shut, we all do it! But it can be like mutual masturbation; where he is in his thoughts and pleasure and you are in yours. It’s like there are four people making love. However when your eyes are open and you are breathing together two lovers become the one.
For a very advanced x rated practice, move him to the bed , coming into missionary position gently insert a clean finger into each other’s base chakra and continue the process. Making sure you use plenty of lube and maintaining eye contact. This awakens the kundalini to spiral up the spine to the pineal gland for a wickedly blissful experience.
Extract from Sexy and Sacred by diane riley Copyright 2009 Diane Riley cannot be reproduced without written permission of Diane Riley
Tantra article by Jade De Souza interview with Diane Riley
True intimacy goes beyond sex:
It is about making mental and spiritual
Connections that can have profound effect on teh success and enjoyment of your romantic relationship.
emotional intimacy is achieved on a psychological levels entails respecting and honouring your true feelings and sharing them openingly with your partner. Increasing level of trust and communicatioon in your relationship fosters uninhibited disclosure of your most inner most selves.
How can you create meaningful and mutually satisfying heart to heart connection with your partner? Diane and Kerry riley, founders and diresctors of the Australian School of Tantra, explain that tantric practices are great for couples who want to pull themselves out of complaacency and return to being deeply in love. “Tantra is an ancient Indian philosophy that regards the male and female union as a path to enlightenment. connecting the sexual with the soulful, tantra harmonies male and female energies, cultivating and nurturing connections between lovers,” Diane says.
