Many people, men and women ask me, ‘How can I give my lover the best pleasure, the most delicious pleasure ever?’
Whether lovers are new, or committed, young or older, or heterosexual or same gender, where do you start?
I suggest exploring methods and kinds various of pleasure sessions.
Learn more about the Art of Pleasure at the August LoveWorks Tantra teacher training
In the initial stages
of most relationships when men and women meet and fall in love, there is lots of love and energy and intimacy, lots of lovemaking and lots of passion. Then, after a period of time many couples lose it. The Hite Report states that eighty five percent of women say that after two years of being in a relationship or marriage they love their husbands but they are no longer ‘in love’ with them. Some couples will say to Diane and me: ‘We still have sex, our passion still comes up occasionally, but it seems to have lost its sizzle, it’s lost its juice. The intimacy and the opening that we used to feel in our hearts when we first met isn’t really there any more. We’re not in love like we used to be.’
There is a school of thought that believes: ‘Well that’s natural, that’s what happens.’ It is natural and it is what happens unless couples consciously choose to continue to create love and passion in their relationships. This is possible, but it requires a decision that this is something that you dearly want in your lives, something that you treasure, something that you believe will give you more from life than anything else.
The path of relationship as one of the quickest paths to personal growth and fulfilment physically, emotionally, spiritually and sexually. Relationship can be a path through which we get a tangible experience of love. For this reason if you decide to put a lot of energy, care and attention into it so that you experience more love in this lifetime. We know that at the end of our lives what will count more than anything else will be how much we loved.
Above everything else, we all want love. We can go through life and gain a lot of things materially and socially, but if we miss out on love then we will have missed the most important thing in life. The woman with whom you have chosen to live your life your beloved is the one you have allowed to get closest to you, and through her you have the potential to feel even more love in this lifetime. A lot of couples make a common error. They put more energy into their career, their family, their sport and their interests than into their relationship. They expect their relationship will progress satisfactorily while they get on with these so-called much more important things. They do not realise that by supporting and nurturing their primary relationship, they will be able to enhance and give more energy and creativity to all these other pursuits and relationships.
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Treat your relationship with your beloved as a wonderful gift and see it as a generator of creativity, providing energy for everything else that you want to do.
In other words, make an agreement to treat your relationship as high priority and put in the energy necessary to support that decision.
The truth is that no matter how much we want our relationships to run smoothly, disharmony still occurs. We get out of sync with our partner. We have disagreements, we argue and sometimes we get angry and hurt and say things to our partner that we wouldn’t say to our worst enemy.
What can we do about disharmony? First we need to have the right attitude. If we have the attitude that conflict should not occur, then we are always going to be under stress. Conflict is a part of growth and does occur in a healthy relationship. Very often the closer we get to our beloved, the more conflicts arise, so we need to develop the attitude, as we confront uncomfortable situations together, that although it can be painful, it is an opportunity to grow closer together.
Many people have the attitude that a good relationship must always be smooth and controlled, so they are unhappy and disappointed with their marriage when it doesn’t happen like that. They spend a lot of energy covering up the disharmony from others and they cover it up from each other until it gets out of control, and then the whole relationship explodes. So the first thing to have in your relationship is the understanding that disharmony is part of a healthy relationship, that it’s natural. Loving couples strive for the joy of becoming closer and closer together. They want union, but along with union comes dependence which can make a man feel that he is allowing a woman to hold power over him. Men don’t want to have to depend on women; to some men this dependence threatens their sense of masculinity and they resent it. Many women also resent feeling dependent on men and this creates an ongoing struggle for power and independence.
That is why lovers will always go on fighting. The fight is simply a way to show each other they are still independent. We fight and feel like separating sometimes, but it’s not too long before we start wanting to make up, wanting to be held again, because the moment we start separating from our beloved we feel a need for the union. We miss the warmth, we miss the love, we miss the sex, we miss the feeling of union, we feel lonely and so do our partners. So we strive to create union again, and the struggle goes on. Part of us wants to be interdependent while the other part wants independence. It is important not to blame each other because this is something that happens between male and female energies. Don’t take it personally and don’t hurt the other for doing what is part of the man-woman relationship game.
Joys and hurts are part and parcel of falling in love. The secret is to see them as a natural part of a relationship the key is to nurture relationship to keep it healthy and respectful…
There is a well known teaching that says: ‘In order to go forward you must first contract.’ The metaphor is that of a bow and arrow. In order for the arrow to move forward, you must first pull back against the bow. This is like a couple who pull away from each other, contract from each other as tension builds up, then when it is released they move further forward in their relationship. A master archer knows to let go of the arrow as soon as the contraction is complete and his aim is taken. We need to become master archers in our relationships. Lets all be a little bit kinder, and if you can … take a moment … to check …in with yourself to be passionate, present and respectful.
https://australianschooloftantra.com.au/tantra-personal-sessions/
My Mum teaches Tantra!
What did you say, when young adults, to the question ‘What does you mum do?’.
Apart form all the regular answers of what mums do for their families? Many may ask, ‘Does she work?
My daughters would say ‘She teachers tantra?”, and remember this was quite a few years ago.
Responses varied…’What?’ ‘What is Tantra?’ ‘Did you say tantrum?’
Then curious friends quizzed further.. “Are your parents Por. no stars?’ or are they like the Fockers?
and lots of other question ensued. They answered mum talks about Aphrodite and Venus ‘ the Greek and Roman goddesses ‘ of love.
Not only the some friends but then many of their parents!!
Talking about positive physical intimacy was and still carries stigma!
To the credit of my beloved , then as older teenage children, now adults they have been very supportive,
and in fact occasionally assist with workshops and events that support about healthy ways to support love and passion in
adult life and in relationships. About experiencing a heart felt connections with the one you love.
So many of the couples I have coached over the years say to me ‘this has been a game changer’,
‘these perspectives and skills I’ve put into place and are so very helpful, I wish I knew this when I was young’.
How do we keep passion, presence and love alive. How do we continue to sustain and thrive in love,
while doing the dishes, making the bed, paying the bills, going to work, having a family, being in the community in a way that we can make a positive difference?
These are vital questions?
Maybe …We are so intentional with business, making money, superannuation, saving, planning social and business events. I have found being intentional with love, with appreciation, with kindness, even if its twice a day. 5 mins twice a day! Can make a difference to my mind set as well as those close to me.
Tantra Love is about expanding and deepening our life. Tantra is deepening connections to love, and our flow of love inwardly and outwardly. Tantra love encourages presence and conscious relating. Tantra love combines soulfulness, relationship and sexuality , and is a guide to live life passionately, with love and with presence.
Living with a tantric intention offers us opportunities to see ourselves, ( as we really are: the good, the bad and the ugly) so we can honour our imperfections, forgive ourselves and others and nurture and expand into our ‘higher Better versions of our selves’.
Australian School of Tantra offers Teacher Training plus Couples and Individual Coaching.
What does the ‘ A Taste of Love’ bring to you? Open your senses, relax and dive deeper into what delights your senses can offer your body. You can practice enjoying a Taste of Love.
We are often too busy to take a moment to sit and receive the bounties of our physical world can offer us with sight, taste, touch, smell and hearing which are the five basic senses. these can nurture us, delight us, surprise us, enrich us.
is it in your lovers kiss, your lovers skin, your lovers hair? Erotic love, intimate love.
Or what we can savour through the taste of love from our food. A special meal prepared by a loved one or friend.
come to a relaxing place within
bring your awareness closer in
take as long as you can and then even longer to open you month and to savour flavours
textures
sounds.
Practice Practice Practice! Enjoy, swallow, and savour the gifts and the experience!
Tantra Goddess for Women
Feminine essence is a potent transformative energy that flows
in a woman when her sexual and spiritual energies connect in a unified way. This is about the Tantra Goddess for women.
This essence has always been repressed and exploited for centuries. We are only aware of
a fraction of its potential.
When awakened, the tantra Goddess for women, it brings out the empowerer, the healer and
the “Goddess of Love” within a woman.
Long ago, ancient feminine wisdoms were passed down from woman to woman.
Do you want to have more Tantra Goddess empowerment in your life?
In certain ancient cultures, when a woman was in such a blissful state,
her sexuality was imbued with spirituality. It was considered a sacred
experience. In these times, feminine wisdom, including sexual knowledge,
was passed down in women’s places of learning, from one wise woman
to another. Until recently, this rich inheritance of knowledge and sexual
practices had been lost and suppressed and the sacred aspect of sex denied.
Read Sexy and Sacred, sexual secrets for women to empower your inner Tantra Goddess.
See these testimonials:
Deva Premal—Pabu Music
“Most of the texts on tantra and Taoist sexology focus on what the man can
do for sexual and spiritual enlightenment not the women! So it is refreshing
to finally have a book on sacred sex for women, what a woman can do to
enhance her sexual aliveness and pleasure on her spiritual path.”
Ellen Ramsdale—Co author ‘Sexual Energy Ecstasy’
“Sexy and sacred’, Diane explores the beauty, magic and sacredness of sex
in from a woman’s perspective. It is as a gift to readers and anyone they
share the knowledge with-their friends, their daughters , and their lovers.”
Jane Manning—Film Director
“Sexy and Sacred offers a unique insight into the world of sexuality and
spirituality and how these two worlds can be woven into our lives. This book
is a perfect companion book for women to ‘Sexual Secrets for Men’. Highly
recommended for anyone who wishes to deepen their path into spirit and sex.”
Indian journalist Spriha Srivastava interviewed Diane Riley for the Sunday Indian times. Sacred love versus pure sex;
tantra is often taboo
because people don’t understand it. People
usually project their thoughts and fantasies in Tantra
and think that’s what it is. And when you speak of Tantra is often taboo. And that is why they tend to misunderstand
it. Tantra in its purest sense is sexuality and love, and
exploring it emotionally, physically
and spiritually. It’s about being at your highest, purest
and most authentic self. People usually fail to understand the
ritual or practice of love-making as it was in the ancient Hindu
culture. So what people understand,
very wrongly, is that it’s an orgy or free sex or partner swapping. Tantra, in fact, helps one in working on one’s relationship. The initial reactions to Tantra When I first introduced Tantra to people 35 years ago, they would not even understand why I wanted to talk about sexuality and spirituality in the same breath? Neighbours were very suspicious that I was running a brothel in the suburbs, people I met in the neighbourhood thought we were kinky and subversive. People would think that sexuality just belongs to your physical body and spirituality belongs to the soul. That was 35 years ago! Now views have changed a lot, but with some it has not! More People realize the benefits of tantric principles to help in their relationship and to bring closeness, emotionally. It helps discover more sensual pleasures with one’s partner. Tantra can mean many things to different people. For myself I didn’t want to explore Tantra in the swinging style. I wanted to explore deep and connected intimate love through Tantra. I would urge people to explore themselves and their relationship further’. I haven’t seen people stay together who are into swinging . When people go to swinging parties, I think it’s more to do with making a statement that I’m going to let go of my fears and explore sexuality; I’m going to let go of my cultural pre-disposition or what my mom and dad have taught me. And it’s alright to go and explore these things, but deeper relationships are disadvantaged with swinging.
It’s for people who want to explore such a thing and want to experiment. It’s not for those who want a partner for a journey through life. Swinging is
similar to group sex, it can be arousing, breaking down belief systems, an adventure. Tantra, sacred sexuality, on the other hand, can be about exploring sex with your partner. Well, that doesn’t mean that one can’t have thoughts about someone else. But Tantra helps one realize those thoughts as your own desire and then channelize it to use that sexual energy with your own partner. It’s about enhancing your sexual feelings and reaching a spiritual level. So if it’s emotional satisfaction that one needs then Tantra is the way. ”
Tantra sex consultant ,
Diane Riley tells Spriha Srivastava
the sunday indian 54 7 march
c o v e r s t o r y
Diane Riley of the Australian School of Tantra was approached by Lollie Barr from Marie Claire about an interview for an article titled:
Diane put her in contact with a student who had never had an orgasm until exploring tantra, Is was published in Maire Claire Dec 2013… Read part 2 of the article below:
….I went to the appointment without telling a soul, not even Adam. During the first session, it was as if a light had flicked on. For me, sex had been a physical act. I associated it with intercourse and orgasm, whereas Tantra made it about intimacy. My mind was suddenly open to the limitless possibilities of lovemaking. Sex was supposed to be soulful and heartfelt, and orgasm wasn’t the goal- pleasure was.
An important component is the breath work, where you channel energy up your vagina- know in Tantra as they ‘Yoni’, meaning ‘sacred space’ – to the heart centre and then back down again. For homework, Diane showed me some Tantric foreplay techniques, as well as the pelvis floor exercises to practice, and a sequence of circular motions and figure eights with my hips, the idea being to increase blood flow to the pelvic region.
Diane suggested Adam and I return together for a couple’s session. Adam was surprised, but he was really supportive or my desire to deepen our connection and sex life. During our first session, Diane explained the importance of us strengthening and toning our pubococcygenus (or PC) muscles. – the active muscle of contraction during orgasm – to increase our pleasure potential. I’d feel more sensation and Adam could last longer. We also did work to connect our heart energy to our sexual energy to help intimacy.
I felt turned on and very much in love. That night we went home and created a sacred lovemaking space by lighting candles and expressing our appreciation of each other. We did the breathing exercises, using the power of sound to bring us further into a moment. We had a book that showed how to experiment with different foreplay or love-play techniques.
Diane Riley of the Australian School of Tantra was approached by Lollie Barr from Marie Claire about an interview for an article titled:
Diane put her in contact with a student who had never had an orgasm until exploring tantra, Is was published in Maire Claire Dec 2013… Read part 3 of the article below:
By the time Adam finally entered me I was on cloud nine. I was fully aware of every stroke of his penis and his hand on my clit, as I focused on my breathing. Adam had learnt that if he felt he was going to ejaculate, he could stop and let the feeling subside by pulsating his pelvic floor muscles and breathing the urgency away.
Adam was on top of the thrusting at a steady pace, his fingers flicking against my cliot as he looked onto my eyes. I felt so relaxed and close to him that I wasn’t thinking of anything else. I was aware of his entire body against my skin as my muscles contracted around him. The sensation was pure bliss. I knew I was rising to that place as my whole body started shuddering and orgasm tool over.
The release was absolutely amazing. I came, then Adam. As we lay in each other’s arms, I started laughing. I felt so happy it had finally happened. For our second sessions we learnt more about the philosophy as well as ‘daily devotion’, where you spend a week being intimate with each other, but without penetration. The idea is that your energies are harmonising and you’re creating a much stronger intimate bond. I once thought sex was purely about intercourse; now, it’s about connecting as well as pleasure.
Diane Riley of the Australian School of Tantra was approached by Lollie Barr from Marie Claire about an interview for an article titled “I’d never had an orgasm until…”
Diane put her in contact with a student who had never had an orgasm until exploring tantra. Here is what she had to say:
Kristi, 32, works in finance
“We were in the office of our Tantric teacher but there were no inhibitions in there. Adam* had never looked sexier as he stared into my eyes while cupping my vagina, and I returned his gaze and held his erection in my hands, The sexual energy was intense, but I felt so emotionally connected to him as we breathed in unison. I couldn’t wait to get home that night.
Before I discovered Tantra, orgasm was a case of nearly there, but not quite. I’d discovered it was quite common for women not to climax, so I wasn’t really embarrassed by it and I simply accepted it as fact. Then, in February 2012, I fell in love with Adam. I reassured him that while sex could still feel good, my body just didn’t work that way. Deep down, however, I knew I was acting as if I were having more fun than I was. There was another element too: Adam often didn’t last long during intercourse.
Then, the following February, a sexually adventurous girlfriend was telling me about an amazing orgasm she had after doing a Tantric sex workshop when I admitted I hadn’t ever come. She said I should give it a go, so I signed up with the Australian School of Tantra in Byron Bay, NSW. The director, Diane Riley suggested a one-on-one session to begin with, so I’d feel more comfortable.
Read Part 2 of Aritcle
Read Part 3 of Article.. the orgasm
