Indian journalist Spriha Srivastava interviewed Diane Riley for the Sunday Indian times. Sacred love versus pure sex;
tantra is often taboo
because people don’t understand it. People
usually project their thoughts and fantasies in Tantra
and think that’s what it is. And when you speak of Tantra is often taboo. And that is why they tend to misunderstand
it. Tantra in its purest sense is sexuality and love, and
exploring it emotionally, physically
and spiritually. It’s about being at your highest, purest
and most authentic self. People usually fail to understand the
ritual or practice of love-making as it was in the ancient Hindu
culture. So what people understand,
very wrongly, is that it’s an orgy or free sex or partner swapping. Tantra, in fact, helps one in working on one’s relationship. The initial reactions to Tantra When I first introduced Tantra to people 35 years ago, they would not even understand why I wanted to talk about sexuality and spirituality in the same breath? Neighbours were very suspicious that I was running a brothel in the suburbs, people I met in the neighbourhood thought we were kinky and subversive. People would think that sexuality just belongs to your physical body and spirituality belongs to the soul. That was 35 years ago! Now views have changed a lot, but with some it has not! More People realize the benefits of tantric principles to help in their relationship and to bring closeness, emotionally. It helps discover more sensual pleasures with one’s partner. Tantra can mean many things to different people. For myself I didn’t want to explore Tantra in the swinging style. I wanted to explore deep and connected intimate love through Tantra. I would urge people to explore themselves and their relationship further’. I haven’t seen people stay together who are into swinging . When people go to swinging parties, I think it’s more to do with making a statement that I’m going to let go of my fears and explore sexuality; I’m going to let go of my cultural pre-disposition or what my mom and dad have taught me. And it’s alright to go and explore these things, but deeper relationships are disadvantaged with swinging.
It’s for people who want to explore such a thing and want to experiment. It’s not for those who want a partner for a journey through life. Swinging is
similar to group sex, it can be arousing, breaking down belief systems, an adventure. Tantra, sacred sexuality, on the other hand, can be about exploring sex with your partner. Well, that doesn’t mean that one can’t have thoughts about someone else. But Tantra helps one realize those thoughts as your own desire and then channelize it to use that sexual energy with your own partner. It’s about enhancing your sexual feelings and reaching a spiritual level. So if it’s emotional satisfaction that one needs then Tantra is the way. ”
Tantra sex consultant ,
Diane Riley tells Spriha Srivastava
the sunday indian 54 7 march
c o v e r s t o r y
Sex, Death & Desire features video footage of philosopher Simon Critchley, an interview with Diane Riley of the Australian School of Tantric Sex, alongside images and animations on the subject of Goddess worship, musings from evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins about atheism as well as clips of the Mexican celebration Day of the Dead (Dia de los Muertos) and sombre images of a candlelit parade past the grave of Polish film director Krzysztof Kielowski. In addition, audience members are treated to live music written by Simmons, as well as Sengalese Griot drumming from Pape Mbaye and his son Yaccu, and Maori singer, Merena.
“There are lots of ideas in the show that people haven’t perhaps thought of before,” Simmons says. “What I like to do with my work is not give you the Hollywood narrative where you’re instructed how to respond emotionally. I’m throwing up images that have inspired me and I’ve responded to in a certain way and then leave it to the audience to take away what they want from it. So you’ve got Tantric sex which is good for everyone involved and it’s all very positive and based on Yogic ideals and then you’ve got an interview with a guy who is addicted to porn.” Continue Reading ?
TANTRIC SEXTACY…Jade de Souza
Transform your relationship woes into relationship whoas! Using the ancient Indian art of sexual pleasure.
Who are these women who have multiple orgasms? Who are these men who can last for hours? Who are these couples that claim to be madly in love? They’re probably devotees of Tantric Sex, the centuries old language of love for couples the world over. So what is it? I asked Diane and Kerry Riley, directors of the Australian School of Tantra in Sydney. “Tantra is an ancient Indian philosophy that regards sex as the path to spiritual enlightenment. Connecting the sexual with the soulful, it harmonises male and female energies,” explains Diane. Reduced to crudities, it induces higher orgasmic states through prolonged intercourse and intensified foreplay.
Practicing Tantra can take you back to the beginning of your relationship, when there was lots of fun and romance and sex was passionate and exciting. It can pull you out of the rut most couples fall into and remind you how good it feels to be deeply in love. “Many people complain that there is something missing from their relationship,” says Diane. “Often what it is that special intimacy that can transform sex into lovemaking.” Tantric practices cultivate that intimacy by establishing nurturing, heart-to-heart connections between lovers.
The term Tantric Sex usually conjures up thoughts of contortionist positions sustained during bed-breaking sexual marathons, but being able to cross your legs behind your head is not a requirement! Tantric Sex doesn’t even have to involve intercourse. “Tantra is inclusive of any sexual practice so long as it involves a loving connection,” Diane explains. She recommends that every couple practice ‘daily devotion’, taking a few moments each morning to come into a sexual embrace and share love. Since the eyes are the windows into the soul, making eye contact during the encounter promotes soulful connection.
Increasing your amount of foreplay, or ‘loveplay’ as Diane and Kerry call it, keeps passion alive. “Tantra broadens the definition of sex,” says Diane. “Orgasm is not the goal, pleasure is.” So if you take the time to build anticipation and excitement, you can enjoy the journey just as much as the destination.
Sound pretty good so far? Read on to learn about the breathing techniques and muscle contractions you can try tonight to bring more pleasure and energy into to your lovemaking.
Focus Your Breathing
A woman’s mind tends to wander during sex, preventing her from feeling the pleasure that’s available. A man’s thoughts will race ahead as he stresses about lasting and whether his lover is enjoying herself. Deep, slow and rhythmic breathing keeps you relaxed and focused in the present. It can increase pleasurable sensations and lengthen orgasm. When people get sexually excited, their breath quickens. As they approach climax, they’ll hold their breath, bringing the ending on. Practicing focused breathing is therefore also a way to starve off orgasm, so you can make love for longer. Synchronising your breathing with your partner’s will harmonise your energies and lead to more intimate connections.
Take a Time Out
Another prolonging method is pausing for a time during sex so that you can feel the intensity of the physical and emotional connections you are making. This also ensures your minds haven’t drifted. “It can be a fantastic experience, when bodies are still with hearts melting into each other, ripples of deep pleasure can pulse from head to toe,” Diane describes.
Use Your Pelvic Floor
Your pubococcygeus (or PC) muscle is an active muscle of contraction during orgasm, hence toning it can increase your pleasure potential. The PC muscle runs from your pubic bone to your tail bone and is the one you can squeeze to stop urination. Diane and Kerry recommend clenching and releasing this muscle around 50 times a day to increase its strength and your awareness of it. “The common sexual difficulty for men is the lack of control,” says Kerry. “With a strong pelvic floor, a man can avoid releasing a build of sexual energy through ejaculation, and instead spread that energy through his body, enjoying orgasmic pleasure without ending the encounter too quickly.” Diane explains that many women have trouble experiencing much sexual pleasure at all. Pelvic floor exercises increase the number of motor neurons in the muscles, so more signals are able to reach the pleasure receptors in the brain. For women therefore, being aware of this muscle during sex can increase their enjoyment as well as the likelihood and intensity of orgasm.
Make Time
Between careers and families, many couples struggle to find the time to put into nurturing their relationship. An essential part of the Tantric lifestyle is however, making that time and giving your relationship high priority, even if that means scheduling it into your planner. Lovemaking doesn’t have to be spontaneous to be romantic! If you’re not feeling sexy when the time comes, opt to just cuddle for a while. If you give each other a massage with heart warming, sensually scented oils such as rose or jasmine oils, their aphrodisiac qualities could just get you in the mood!
In order to create more intimacy, we sometimes need to step out of our comfort zone. This doesn’t have to mean reenacting hard-core scenarios from porn movies! Tantra is not the practice of lurid sex but rather intimate lovemaking. It means letting go of fears and insecurities so as to make yourself available emotionally and spiritually, as well as physically. “Couples feel closer. Trust grows deeper and sexuality becomes fuller. Inhibitions are forgotten, fears are released and they fall deeper in love,” says Diane.
Now that you know the basics, grab your lover and give it a go! For more information, The Australian School of Tantra offers classes around the country Perth, Sydney, Brisbane, Byron Bay, NewCastle, Melbourne as well as comprehensive books and DVD’s describing more detailed techniques. Visitwww.australianschooloftantra.com.au
Happy lovemaking!!
Tantra is quickly becoming accepted as a respected and useful philosophy as a tool to enhance relationships and sexuality. Tantric teachers Kerry and Diane Riley of the Australian School of Tantra were interviewed by the Sydney Morning Herald as Sydney’s leading authority on Tantra. Tantric teachers for many years, the Riley’s have a deep understanding of the concerns and pressures of modern relationship especially those living in the city.
‘Often people are having it all, demanding careers plus relationships and children! Tantric sexuality offers insights into the ‘man woman dynamic’ on an emotional and sexual level.’ explains Diane. ‘Tantric love emphasises daily connections, simple tantric harmonising processes for rebalancing libido and amplifying passion, at whatever age. Throw out the sexual enhancing drugs and try Tantra skills instead!’ Kerry encourages men of all ages 18 – 80 to exercise their PC muscles as the fundamental technique for life long sexual health. ‘Whether a man wants to learn ejaculation control or to strengthened his virility the PC muscle is important. Learn the tantric skills about this muscle and you will be able to make love for as long as you choose.
Kerry and Diane each tantra courses and workshops around Australia, in Perth, Sydney, Melbourne, and Byron Bay.
Their extensive and growing tantric educational books, videos, DVD’s and courses have proved to be authorative and of great value.
Marie-Louise Olson (she interviews Diane Riley from the Australian School of Tantra and the director of Sexy and Sacred Workshops for women.) Writes….. In an era of rampant female sexuality it’s ironic that women’s genitalia remains taboo,
The vagina. When was the last time you said the “v” word without snickering?
In an age of skin-baring pop stars, rampant internet porn and the sexualisation of young girls, it seems ironic that this innocent little fleshy bit with its nuances of pink and purple is still considered the most taboo area of human anatomy.
Recently on the Sydney radio show I co-host we had a candid discussion about the names we call our love tunnel.
But as terms like “pussy” and “punani” came out of my mouth and straight into the airwaves, I involuntarily found myself turning a shade of pink and purple as well.
Why is it still so hard for women to talk openly about our cho-chos? Diane Kerry, the director of the Australian School of Tantra, says it is because our society is still inhibited by the past.
“It’s a refection of where we are. We think we’re a really sophisticated society, but as far as sex, we’re not,” she says.
“It’s a real hangover from our grandmothers’ Victorian generation.”
Perhaps we simply need a sexy, but respectable, name for our front bottom … anything but va-gi-na.
Names for the vagina, which directly translated from latin means sheath or scabbard, are continuously changing over time, but probably the most universal nicknames for it are pussy, muff, cootch, twat and c.
Australian feminist and scholar Germaine Greer once said that the latter “is one of the few remaining words in the English language with a genuine power to shock”.
C is a recognised word and can be found in various English-language dictionaries including our own Macquarie dictionary, where it is defined as “the female genitalia” as well as “a contemptible person”.
Kerry likes to use the word “yoni”, which in tantric means sacred place.
“I take my vagina to the gynaecologist, but I use my yani for my sexual being, my sensuality,” she says.
In various indigenous languages it is referred to as “nungle” and “kuckles” (also the name of a Broome-based band).
In French it is called “la chat”, “tarte au poile” (hairy tart) and more politely, “le foufoun”.
The dubious colloquialism “hokey” is used to describe a loose foofa.
According to the urban dictionary, the term is derived from the song The Hokey-Pokey, meaning you can put your left leg in and shake it all about.
TV show host Oprah Winfrey even has a name for it – the vajayjay.
Then there’s foofa, box, pink, cock massager, one car garage, sperm dumpster, hoo-ha, axe wound, lady bits, china, vulva, blossomful of nectar, muffin, toolbox, velvety love folds, pastrami meat flaps, pin cushion, catchers mitt, cuckoos nest, the wound that never heals, bearded clam, beef curtains, tunatown, vertical taco, bajango, catpipe, nozzle trap, bushburger, front wedgie, meat hole, fanunu, pecker wetter, dirty south.
Come to think of it, maybe vagina isn’t so bad after all.
The writer co-hosts the womens’ radio show Double X on Sydney’s Radio 2SER
