Tantra/ tantric lessons. Article Dec 07
Tantra and spirituality – copyright 1995   Tantra Teacher Kerry Riley of the Australian School of Tantra. Kerry teaches tantra in Sydney, Melbourne, Perth , Brisbane and Byron Bay. 0404 764894

Imagine how our lovemaking would affect us if we were educated in Tantric and Taoist techniques. They would give us a far more healthy attitude towards sex than most of us have been conditioned to have. It’s important to recognise that any judgements we have about sex reflect our inhibitions and demonstrate that we are not entirely free and accepting of our own sexuality.

What we need is a new man, a man who can bring back to sex its original sacredness, who is able to make love in such a way that it opens the door to enlightenment for his beloved and himself and fulfils his deepest yearnings for the meaning of life.

We need education in lovemaking because it will increase our choices and our knowledge. We don’t have to assume the attitudes handed down to us by society. We can adopt new attitudes which serve us better and help us to have a more fulfilling, happy, healthy love life.

Some aspects of Tantra and Taoism may seem a little strange at first, especially the link between sexuality and spirituality, but like anything in life, we need to consider all approaches, and then select what serves us. Of course sometimes when a new attitude is presented to us, we take it on immediately because it rings true for us. At other times we have to let it sit for a while; we put it on the shelf and perhaps use it in years to come. It’s important to experiment, play with the attitudes, with innocence and openness as a child plays with a new toy. Parents terrorise their children out of the delight of their sexual feelings, experimentation, play and openness. But we are not children any more. It’s time to choose new ways of exploring sex and love on physical, emotional and spiritual levels.

Having a healthy attitude towards lovemaking makes all the difference to the experience. You can be in exactly the same lovemaking position as someone else but ultimately it’s the mind that creates the experience. If the mind is saying: ‘I wish this would finish,’ you may have some sort of resistance to pleasure from past conditioning or experience. If the past was all positive then how could the most sensitive part of the body, with the most nerve endings, not be giving you pleasure? Have you ever thought about that? If however, your attitude is that to make love to reach high states of sexual pleasure is healing, then the experience will be totally different. Our experience of lovemaking is affected by our attitudes. A man who has been conditioned to believe that his lovemaking is a spiritual encounter will have a totally different experience to a man who sees it as an opportunity to get another notch in his belt.

Anything that happens in our lovemaking is interpreted through our attitudes and beliefs first. From these we derive our experience. One way to alter our experience is to change our attitudes and beliefs. Some people watching a high Tantric experience might see it merely as two people having good sex. Well, what’s the difference between Tantra and just having sex? One of the key differences is where the mind is. It’s the same in life. One’s experience of life depends on where the mind is. We are all living in the same world, but our experiences are determined by our perception.

And so in lovemaking it’s not what we are doing that affects us; it’s the attitude with which we are doing it that makes the real difference to our experience. If we can adopt the attitude that our lovemaking is spiritual, then our lovemaking will indeed become a spiritual experience. More in ‘Sexual Secrets for Men.’