Kerry Riley wrote this article for inclusion in Bettina Arndt’s latest book which focuses on sex life of men.
Bettina Arndt is a sex therapist, journalist and clinical psychologist who has been talking about sex for over thirty years. In 2009, she published her book “The Sex Diaries” which became an international best-seller. This was based on the diaries of 98 couples talking about how they negotiate sex and deal with mismatched desire. She followed this up with another diary project, looking at male sexuality, which lead to her latest book,“What Men Want – in bed”.
One of the meanings of Tantra is to ‘Expand’ or ‘Weave together’. Tantric sex includes expanding the ways you make love. Tantra includes practices for multiple orgasms, but is also about exploring intimacy and creating deeper more intimate connections with your partner and importantly being able to be present in the moment, not focusing on performance. Tantra is not just about penetrative sex, it enhances sexual experiences for both partners, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Tantra can be incorporated into anyone’s love life, from the young and healthy to seniors – where men often experience ED or women suffer from post menopausal sexual difficulties.
Ejaculation control practices are well covered in Tantra and are invaluable for a young man, or men who want to increase staying power. Men are not taught these skills and it can result in pressure, disappointment and frustration in his loving relationship. Tantra also offers help with challenges a couple face with post operative prostate cancer. Men are given practices to increase virility and desire. Lack of desire is a side effect of androgen therapy. Medications like Viagra can help with erection strength but not necessarily desire. Also there is a practice a man can learn in Tantra called valley orgasm, which is a method of having orgasm without ejaculation. A very powerful experience. So if he has mastered this or experienced this, it is a much easier transition to adapting to not release semen after a prostectomy. It also helps him with the ability to bring his mind into the present moment rather than focusing on a result and erection strength, because the more a man tries to get an erection the worse it gets.
My advice is to practice the skills of Tantra before prostrate problems then not only will it enhance your love life now but give you real skills to handle many sexual problems and difficulties that arise after prostate cancer treatments.
However if you or your partner are in the difficult position of recovering from prostate surgery, whether this operation has been completely succsessful in removing all the cancer from the body or not, perhaps follow up treatment is advised, such as radiotherapy, or hormonetherapy- don’t let intimate connection fade away. you can develop and learn other tantric practices that can assist to keep a sensual sexual life alive!!!!!!!!!!
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