Tantric Coaching & Counselling and Tantra Love Education
Tantric Couples session in Byron Bay with Diane Riley Director of the Australian School of Tantra
Close loving relationships provide the potential for the highest lovemaking possible. It is worth working on your relationship if you want to open up more possibilities in the area of your lovemaking, because as your relationship grows closer, your love grows deeper and sex gets better. There is nothing better than having a fabulous sexual experience with the person whom you love the most in life. Sex can be fabulous out-of-relationship, but it can be even more fabulous with a person who deeply loves and trusts you because then you have the intimacy as well as the sexual passion.
I would like to point out some of the things that I feel have been a great asset in keeping my marriage together and the relationships of many others with whom Diane and I have worked.
First of all, in discussing relationships it is important to point out that relationships in their current form in our society are not working. Statistics show that in Western societies more than fifty percent of married couples get divorced. Once we fall in love, we get married and take the vow to honour and love each other forever, in sickness and in health. Even though we may truly hope for this at the time, the evidence is that fairytale marriages’they got married and lived happily ever after’are rare. Yet deep down many people still expect this to happen for them, and when it doesn’t, they get deeply hurt.
If, on the other hand, we had been conditioned to accept and honour ‘serial monogamy’ as the norm, then we wouldn’t put such pressure on ourselves or our partner to be happily married and in love for a lifetime.
But that is not how we are conditioned by the fairytales and by society. Our society has decreed that we marry for love and that love should last for a lifetime. This is a wonderful proposition. However, because we are given little or no education on how to achieve it, it’s destined to fail.
In Challenge of the Heart, by John Welwood; it is pointed out that ‘no earlier society has ever tried, much less succeeded at, joining together romantic love, sex, and marriage in a single institution.’ In traditional societies it was normal for marriages to be arranged by the families. Happiness was not the goal of marriage, which was more to do with family lineage and property. Feelings of love were never considered a reason for marriage. Marriage for love was not attempted until the nineteenth century. However, it was regarded as degrading for a woman in Victorian times to have sexual feelings, so men often had sex with prostitutes.
It’s important to understand the impact of this, to understand that you are a pioneer, one of the first of mankind throughout history to even attempt to combine love, sex and marriage. No wonder you have difficulties. It’s not simply to do with you and your partner’s inadequacies. It’s a huge challenge and there is very little education on how to combine love, sexual passion and marriage for a lifetime together. That’s why I love the work Diane and I do with couples on a journey into love. The average couple will not look at this type of education until they have big marital troubles.
What Diane and I teach is foreign to most people. As soon as we mention the work we do with love, sex and relationships, they say: ‘We don’t need it, but we know someone who does.’ Usually it is one of their friends who is having trouble with their marriage, love or sex. What they need is a counsellor, therapist or psychologist, not us. What Diane and I offer is education for happy couples who have chosen to explore the extraordinary in their love life and who are excited to learn all there is to know. They want to be great together.
If someone wants to be a great musician, singer or engineer, they do not rely only on their own knowledge. They will seek the best sources of education available. The same is true for lovers who want the best. The emphasis on individualism in our society, on ‘doing your own thing’, can work against marriage. Many couples who have gone off on their own personal growth paths separately from each other often find it difficult to integrate that individual growth in a supportive way in their marriage. I’m not suggesting that personal growth work should not be done. It is most important, but if you have done a lot of that, it’s time to create a balance between your individual needs and the needs of your relationship as a whole. Go to groups that support your loving relationship.
What Tantra Coaching with the Australian School of Tantra Offers.
In our sessions with singles we find a lot more men and women are wanting to do that to nurture and develop a long-
term relationship and go on a journey into love and growth together. I believe people are genuinely wanting to end the battle of the sexes and enter into a joint journey of personal growth and sexual, emotional and spiritual fulfilment.
We are entering what you could call the ‘We Generation,’ as opposed to the preceding ‘Me Generation,’ and this is happening on a global level. We need all the education we can get to make our relationships work, so I hope you will try some of the secrets I share with you.