Let me in, let’s make lovingnesses, or,
Need not necessarily be physical, touching compassion,
Thought that you were my comfort or could be each others.
I can’t tell you what you want to hear – she did not say.
We both knew during the paure, it was all already added.
So now I turn to myself and say keep me, hello again.
Thought or spoken aloud or both, expressed and understood.
It was the closure had been craving, lips now unhooked.
Adrift for only instants before I joined myself, unit.
Uniting my anticipations with other ongoing aspirations.
Hopes and dreams, projects pending and my own person.
The reliable nature I offer others, no also nurtures self.
Performance Poet Christo
Photo c/o http://christowarner.com
Diane Riley of the Australian School of Tantra was approached by Lollie Barr from Marie Claire about an interview for an article titled:
Diane put her in contact with a student who had never had an orgasm until exploring tantra, Is was published in Maire Claire Dec 2013… Read part 2 of the article below:
….I went to the appointment without telling a soul, not even Adam. During the first session, it was as if a light had flicked on. For me, sex had been a physical act. I associated it with intercourse and orgasm, whereas Tantra made it about intimacy. My mind was suddenly open to the limitless possibilities of lovemaking. Sex was supposed to be soulful and heartfelt, and orgasm wasn’t the goal- pleasure was.
An important component is the breath work, where you channel energy up your vagina- know in Tantra as they ‘Yoni’, meaning ‘sacred space’ – to the heart centre and then back down again. For homework, Diane showed me some Tantric foreplay techniques, as well as the pelvis floor exercises to practice, and a sequence of circular motions and figure eights with my hips, the idea being to increase blood flow to the pelvic region.
Diane suggested Adam and I return together for a couple’s session. Adam was surprised, but he was really supportive or my desire to deepen our connection and sex life. During our first session, Diane explained the importance of us strengthening and toning our pubococcygenus (or PC) muscles. – the active muscle of contraction during orgasm – to increase our pleasure potential. I’d feel more sensation and Adam could last longer. We also did work to connect our heart energy to our sexual energy to help intimacy.
I felt turned on and very much in love. That night we went home and created a sacred lovemaking space by lighting candles and expressing our appreciation of each other. We did the breathing exercises, using the power of sound to bring us further into a moment. We had a book that showed how to experiment with different foreplay or love-play techniques.
Diane Riley of the Australian School of Tantra was approached by Lollie Barr from Marie Claire about an interview for an article titled:
Diane put her in contact with a student who had never had an orgasm until exploring tantra, Is was published in Maire Claire Dec 2013… Read part 3 of the article below:
By the time Adam finally entered me I was on cloud nine. I was fully aware of every stroke of his penis and his hand on my clit, as I focused on my breathing. Adam had learnt that if he felt he was going to ejaculate, he could stop and let the feeling subside by pulsating his pelvic floor muscles and breathing the urgency away.
Adam was on top of the thrusting at a steady pace, his fingers flicking against my cliot as he looked onto my eyes. I felt so relaxed and close to him that I wasn’t thinking of anything else. I was aware of his entire body against my skin as my muscles contracted around him. The sensation was pure bliss. I knew I was rising to that place as my whole body started shuddering and orgasm tool over.
The release was absolutely amazing. I came, then Adam. As we lay in each other’s arms, I started laughing. I felt so happy it had finally happened. For our second sessions we learnt more about the philosophy as well as ‘daily devotion’, where you spend a week being intimate with each other, but without penetration. The idea is that your energies are harmonising and you’re creating a much stronger intimate bond. I once thought sex was purely about intercourse; now, it’s about connecting as well as pleasure.
Diane put her in contact with a student who had never had an orgasm until exploring tantra. Here is what she had to say:
Kristi, 32, works in finance
“We were in the office of our Tantric teacher but there were no inhibitions in there. Adam* had never looked sexier as he stared into my eyes while cupping my vagina, and I returned his gaze and held his erection in my hands, The sexual energy was intense, but I felt so emotionally connected to him as we breathed in unison. I couldn’t wait to get home that night.
Before I discovered Tantra, orgasm was a case of nearly there, but not quite. I’d discovered it was quite common for women not to climax, so I wasn’t really embarrassed by it and I simply accepted it as fact. Then, in February 2012, I fell in love with Adam. I reassured him that while sex could still feel good, my body just didn’t work that way. Deep down, however, I knew I was acting as if I were having more fun than I was. There was another element too: Adam often didn’t last long during intercourse.
Then, the following February, a sexually adventurous girlfriend was telling me about an amazing orgasm she had after doing a Tantric sex workshop when I admitted I hadn’t ever come. She said I should give it a go, so I signed up with the Australian School of Tantra in Byron Bay, NSW. The director, Diane Riley suggested a one-on-one session to begin with, so I’d feel more comfortable.
See below what Diane has to say along with other extracts from the article.
In the modern world, sex is everywhere. Sex sells and is big business. Sex is splashed across almost every screen and billboard you see. It feels good to be sexy, to be desired. Yet sex sold in the spirit of raunchy fun is without this intimacy the soul longs for.
The pervasive cheapening of the sacredness of sex in society leaves many feeling empty and spiritually void in their sexual relationships. One path to deeply satisfying sexual experience is through your sacred yoga journey.
Diane Riley of the Australian School of Tantra explains tantra as a way of life. Combining the hear of the genitals with the warmth of the heat and the cool bliss of meditation, tantra integrates all aspects of yourself. Tantric practices are about giving and receiving sexual energy for more soulful sex.
Riley teaches couples in her LoveWorks program how to combine the body, heart, mind and soul within yourself, then with your partner through lovemaking. A sense of timelessness and boundlessness and a deep connection with all things can occur.
In preparation for sex, Riley suggests that you:
1. Set a sacred space for lovemaking
2. Become present with each other through the breath.
3. Devote and set intention.
4. Connect and open at the heart, verbalising words of love.
5. Practise passionate sexual embrace.
6. Commune ecstatically in body, heat and soul.
Look out for more extracts from Kylie’s article….
TANTRIC SEXTACY…Jade de Souza
Transform your relationship woes into relationship whoas! Using the ancient Indian art of sexual pleasure.
Who are these women who have multiple orgasms? Who are these men who can last for hours? Who are these couples that claim to be madly in love? They’re probably devotees of Tantric Sex, the centuries old language of love for couples the world over. So what is it? I asked Diane and Kerry Riley, directors of the Australian School of Tantra in Sydney. “Tantra is an ancient Indian philosophy that regards sex as the path to spiritual enlightenment. Connecting the sexual with the soulful, it harmonises male and female energies,” explains Diane. Reduced to crudities, it induces higher orgasmic states through prolonged intercourse and intensified foreplay.
Practicing Tantra can take you back to the beginning of your relationship, when there was lots of fun and romance and sex was passionate and exciting. It can pull you out of the rut most couples fall into and remind you how good it feels to be deeply in love. “Many people complain that there is something missing from their relationship,” says Diane. “Often what it is that special intimacy that can transform sex into lovemaking.” Tantric practices cultivate that intimacy by establishing nurturing, heart-to-heart connections between lovers.
The term Tantric Sex usually conjures up thoughts of contortionist positions sustained during bed-breaking sexual marathons, but being able to cross your legs behind your head is not a requirement! Tantric Sex doesn’t even have to involve intercourse. “Tantra is inclusive of any sexual practice so long as it involves a loving connection,” Diane explains. She recommends that every couple practice ‘daily devotion’, taking a few moments each morning to come into a sexual embrace and share love. Since the eyes are the windows into the soul, making eye contact during the encounter promotes soulful connection.
Increasing your amount of foreplay, or ‘loveplay’ as Diane and Kerry call it, keeps passion alive. “Tantra broadens the definition of sex,” says Diane. “Orgasm is not the goal, pleasure is.” So if you take the time to build anticipation and excitement, you can enjoy the journey just as much as the destination.
Sound pretty good so far? Read on to learn about the breathing techniques and muscle contractions you can try tonight to bring more pleasure and energy into to your lovemaking.
Focus Your Breathing
A woman’s mind tends to wander during sex, preventing her from feeling the pleasure that’s available. A man’s thoughts will race ahead as he stresses about lasting and whether his lover is enjoying herself. Deep, slow and rhythmic breathing keeps you relaxed and focused in the present. It can increase pleasurable sensations and lengthen orgasm. When people get sexually excited, their breath quickens. As they approach climax, they’ll hold their breath, bringing the ending on. Practicing focused breathing is therefore also a way to starve off orgasm, so you can make love for longer. Synchronising your breathing with your partner’s will harmonise your energies and lead to more intimate connections.
Take a Time Out
Another prolonging method is pausing for a time during sex so that you can feel the intensity of the physical and emotional connections you are making. This also ensures your minds haven’t drifted. “It can be a fantastic experience, when bodies are still with hearts melting into each other, ripples of deep pleasure can pulse from head to toe,” Diane describes.
Use Your Pelvic Floor
Your pubococcygeus (or PC) muscle is an active muscle of contraction during orgasm, hence toning it can increase your pleasure potential. The PC muscle runs from your pubic bone to your tail bone and is the one you can squeeze to stop urination. Diane and Kerry recommend clenching and releasing this muscle around 50 times a day to increase its strength and your awareness of it. “The common sexual difficulty for men is the lack of control,” says Kerry. “With a strong pelvic floor, a man can avoid releasing a build of sexual energy through ejaculation, and instead spread that energy through his body, enjoying orgasmic pleasure without ending the encounter too quickly.” Diane explains that many women have trouble experiencing much sexual pleasure at all. Pelvic floor exercises increase the number of motor neurons in the muscles, so more signals are able to reach the pleasure receptors in the brain. For women therefore, being aware of this muscle during sex can increase their enjoyment as well as the likelihood and intensity of orgasm.
Between careers and families, many couples struggle to find the time to put into nurturing their relationship. An essential part of the Tantric lifestyle is however, making that time and giving your relationship high priority, even if that means scheduling it into your planner. Lovemaking doesn’t have to be spontaneous to be romantic! If you’re not feeling sexy when the time comes, opt to just cuddle for a while. If you give each other a massage with heart warming, sensually scented oils such as rose or jasmine oils, their aphrodisiac qualities could just get you in the mood!
In order to create more intimacy, we sometimes need to step out of our comfort zone. This doesn’t have to mean reenacting hard-core scenarios from porn movies! Tantra is not the practice of lurid sex but rather intimate lovemaking. It means letting go of fears and insecurities so as to make yourself available emotionally and spiritually, as well as physically. “Couples feel closer. Trust grows deeper and sexuality becomes fuller. Inhibitions are forgotten, fears are released and they fall deeper in love,” says Diane.
Now that you know the basics, grab your lover and give it a go! For more information, The Australian School of Tantra offers classes around the country Perth, Sydney, Brisbane, Byron Bay, NewCastle, Melbourne as well as comprehensive books and DVD’s describing more detailed techniques. Visitwww.australianschooloftantra.com.au
Extracts appeared in ‘Everything you wanted to know about tantra’, as requested by Kristy Bradley.
I’ve just written a book‘Sexy and Sacred’– nothing like it in the market place.
An X rated practice, well there are many in the Kama sutra- challenging yoga style positions. Those practices are for the flexible and strong. So tantra is just about finding a new sex position or a new point to press- to titillate the mind- there 100’s of articles on those things and numerous porno DVD’s.
Tantra is about experiencing as much pleasure and bliss as possible; not just physically but on all levels body heart and soul. Tantra is about combining the fire of sexual pleasure with the deep warmth of the heart and the cool bliss of meditation being in ‘the eternal now’. This combination opens you to a new reality of sexual love.
It is about being the moment of present time which happens in sex especially at the point of orgasm- we let go of thought. But often sex is more about focusing on the result of ‘getting to cum’, am I going to cum? Am I sexy enough ? God I hope he doesn’t come to quick, that felt good and now he’s changed what he’s doing and I’ve lost it !: so we’re thinking: comparing with the past or thinking of the future instead of being in the moment.
True tantra happens when you are so thoroughly absorbed in the present moment that nothing else exists (much easier said than done). So there are skills to shut the mind up and be present to the sensations and pleasures that you are experiencing.
Focused breathing is one of these skills, which is common in yoga, meditation, Ti chi but how do you bring that type of awareness into lovemaking.
So here is a practice that is deceivingly simple but if you want something challenging then try it and see.after significance foreplay. Man sits on couch woman straddles him and intercourse begins – or continues- as the excitement builds she moves upper body back, stills genitally connected, she asks him to open his eyes (the window to the soul- in to me see) and start to breathe deeply together, breathing in together and breathing out together- allowing sexual sound Thhh ….hArrrrr. As you breathe in, rotate pelvis back and forward as you breathe out. Do this for at least ten breaths maintaining eye contact, before continuing with normal love making. This can also help him with ejaculation control especially if he contracts the PC muscle as he breaths in on the out stroke and breathe out on the in stroke. And for her contract the PC muscle as she moves her hips can amplify her pleasure and orgasm.
And because there is more intimacy her sexual energy will expand even more. It’s not a porno performance it’s heightened lovemaking and that’s what tantra is about!
There is nothing wrong with making love with eyes shut, we all do it! But it can be like mutual masturbation; where he is in his thoughts and pleasure and you are in yours. It’s like there are four people making love. However when your eyes are open and you are breathing together two lovers become the one.
For a very advanced x rated practice, move him to the bed , coming into missionary position gently insert a clean finger into each other’s base chakra and continue the process. Making sure you use plenty of lube and maintaining eye contact. This awakens the kundalini to spiral up the spine to the pineal gland for a wickedly blissful experience.
Extract from Sexy and Sacred by diane riley Copyright 2009 Diane Riley cannot be reproduced without written permission of Diane Riley
Tantra article by Jade De Souza interview with Diane Riley
True intimacy goes beyond sex:
It is about making mental and spiritual
Connections that can have profound effect on teh success and enjoyment of your romantic relationship.
emotional intimacy is achieved on a psychological levels entails respecting and honouring your true feelings and sharing them openingly with your partner. Increasing level of trust and communicatioon in your relationship fosters uninhibited disclosure of your most inner most selves.
How can you create meaningful and mutually satisfying heart to heart connection with your partner? Diane and Kerry riley, founders and diresctors of the Australian School of Tantra, explain that tantric practices are great for couples who want to pull themselves out of complaacency and return to being deeply in love. “Tantra is an ancient Indian philosophy that regards the male and female union as a path to enlightenment. connecting the sexual with the soulful, tantra harmonies male and female energies, cultivating and nurturing connections between lovers,” Diane says.
Over haul your sex life here, Australia Wide – Sydney, Byron Bay, NewCastle,Perth, Melbourne, Nowra and Robertson.
The Australian School of Tantra
Chose from Tantric workshops for women,
couple’s sessions and weekend get aways.
and Girl’s nights and Hen’s parties.
Cost: from $195 up.
Contact Diane on 0404 468618.
Tantra and Tantra courses for men an assist in so many sexuality and relationship areas.
‘Tantric Secrets for Men’, first published by Random House in Australia as ‘Sexual Secrets for Men’ was the subject of review by Vogue Magazine as seen below.
Tantric teacher and tantric educator Kerry Riley has talked to thousands of men about their relationships and sexuality concerns. Never before has so much information been collected abut the real issues of men in Sydney.
Tantra is becoming the new language of love for truck drivers, accountants, barristers and stay at home dads, Kerry has educated a diverse cross section of the community. Kerry says a recurring concern for modern man is how to love a woman better. ‘There must be more’ ‘lovemaking is not to just intercourse’, ‘how can I bring my partner more pleasure?’ ‘what an I do to learn more?’.
Tantra reduces the pressure of performance based sex, Tantric lovemaking is intended to be pleasurable. The pressure is now off orgasm, erection, orgasm but focused on heart felt love making. that is feeling love and pleasure in the genitals at the same time as the heart.
Tantric master Kerry Riley and his partner Diane Riley, have been married for 26 years, They have been living in Sydney and teaching Tantric Tantra seminars and course around Australia including Perth, Byron Bay, Melbourne and Sydney. Tantra offers a much wider repertoire or thinking about sexuality. Tantra is an attitude which enhances pleasure and connection on every level.
Tantric secrets for men is a best seller and will remain a significant book in the tantra education area for years to come.